Ask a Client for Permission to Share Their Story (Without Awkwardness)

Help me ask a client for permission to share their story.

If we’ve already talked about this client in this conversation, use what
you know and skip anything below that you can already answer. Otherwise
ask me these, ONE AT A TIME, and keep it short:

1. Who are they to me? Buyer, seller, borrower, past client, and roughly
how long ago we worked together.
2. What’s the story I want to tell, in a sentence?
3. What’s our relationship like now? Close and warm, friendly but quiet,
or we haven’t spoken in a while?
4. Have they already said something nice about the experience anywhere?
A text, an email, a review, a card. Paste it if you have it.
5. Where would this appear? Social, video, newsletter, website, all of it.
6. Text or email, and do I know which they actually respond to?
7. My name, role, and anything I’m required to include.

Then write it.

WHAT THE MESSAGE MUST DO:
– Open with something true and specific about THEM. Not about my ask,
not about my business, not “hope you’re well.”
– Say plainly what I want to share, in one sentence, in plain words.
– Say exactly where it would appear.
– Offer three levels, clearly:
full name
first name only
anonymous, no identifying details
– Offer to show them the piece before anything goes out.
– Give a genuinely easy no. Word it so declining costs them nothing and
creates no awkwardness. The easy no is the most important line in the
message. Write it so it’s the last thing they read before the sign-off.
– Under 120 words for email. Under 60 for text.

WHAT IT MUST NOT DO:
– No guilt. No “it would mean so much to me.”
– No flattery used as leverage.
– No implied obligation because of what I did for them.
– No marketing language. This is a note between two people.
– Don’t ask them to write anything. I’m asking for permission, not
for a testimonial. Those are separate asks and combining them
kills the response rate.
– No links, no forms, no “just fill this out.”

GIVE ME:
1. The message, in whichever format I chose.
2. The same message in the other format, shorter.
3. If they already said something nice (question 4), a version that
opens by referencing their own words and asks only to confirm I
can use them with their name attached. This is a lighter ask and
should read like it.
4. A subject line, if it’s email. Under six words. Not “quick question.”
5. A NUDGE, to send 5 to 7 days later if I hear nothing. One or two
sentences. It must make silence a perfectly acceptable answer and
close the loop, so I never have to chase twice.
6. A short reply for each outcome:
they say yes to full name
they say first name only or anonymous
they say no
The no reply is the one I care about most. Warm, brief, zero
disappointment, and it should leave the relationship exactly where
it was.

THEN TELL ME:
– Get the yes in writing and keep it in the thread. Don’t rely on a
verbal yes from a phone call.
– One line on the best moment to send this given how long ago we worked
together and what our relationship is like now.
– If anything about this ask looks like a bad idea for this particular
client, say so.